WHOM DO YOU NEED TO FORGIVE?

Remember, You Do It For You

Some things are always relevant and timeless, like forgiveness.

I had a conversation with a friend over the weekend about anger and the benefits of forgiveness. Forgiveness is funny; by doing it, you not only release the other person from your anger but also free yourself.

• Do you realize how much energy you put into unsettling an old score?
  
  
• How it's a constant reminder of how someone did you wrong?
  
  
• Why does that moment or series of moments keep playing the scene repeatedly in your head, like a movie that never changes?
  
  
• Is this a good use of your time and energy?
  
  
• Who is your anger really affecting? Them or You?
  
  

When you don't forgive someone, you take it upon yourself to keep that anger near the surface. You give that anger active power, which you could direct towards what you want, not what you don't want. A saying goes like this: "Whatever you focus on comes back to you in your life, whether the focus is positive or negative."

If you insist on not forgiving, for whatever reason that works for you, are you telling the universe that you want more anger to manifest itself? Perhaps you didn't look at it this way.

Maybe you think your anger is justified even though you don't know all of the facts. Perhaps you think you will look weak and the other person will win if you forgive them.

I remember a story I saw on TV years ago. A woman had been torched, burned so badly she almost died. She sat there, wrapped in bandages and pain.

When the interviewer asked her if she hated the person who had done this to her. She thought for a split second and responded, "No." When asked why not, she said she didn't want that person to have power over her. She didn't want that person constantly in her thoughts.

She said she forgave him, not because it helped him, but because to forgive helped her. She needed every energy possible to recover and wouldn't waste one ounce more on her attacker.

Release yourself from the burden of carrying around anger and move forward and focus on what you want, what we all want: love, understanding, and forgiveness for being human.

Try it; forgive someone today for what they did to you yesterday, last year, ten years, or 50 years ago. Who feels better? Them or You?

Copyright © Marlene Blaszczyk